There's been a bit of discussion in recent times about the age-old controversy: paper or plastic. Seems there's some bunch of wackos out there who think plastic is bad, just 'cause it don't dissolve in the dumps for a few thousand years. Maybe that's what's keeping the dumps from collapsin' under the weight of all the dirt they throw on top of them, you know?
Anyway, these wackos used to say you should ask for paper sacs (you younguns call 'em bags) at the grocery store. Paper bags supposed to dissolve quicker in the dumps apparently, although truth be told, you bury anything under enough dirt with no water and air to get to it to aid in the compostin' process, and it ain't gonna dissolve either. Paper bags still be paper bags when they dig 'em up 10,000 years from now. But don't take my word for it.
Then there's this new bunch of wackos who say forget the paper, 'cause we're losing forested land all around the country. Exceptin' of course if you drive on most of Connecticut's highways, which is all surrounded by trees for miles and miles and miles. These new-age wackos think we ought to use them there "green" bags (although they ain't always green) which is reusable and saves the planet. To use anything else you're led to believe is downright Un-American.
Now I'm thinking that if we use paper bags, all them trees that gets cut down will leave a big empty space, and watcha gonna do about that? Why, I say it looks like a perfect space for a landfill to put all those plastic bags that so many people still usin' anyway, if you go to Wally World and watch 'em comin' outta there. So it's kind of a wash.
Yeah, there's an ecological foot print to either of them. Makin' plastic bags gotta do some damage somewhere along the way, with manufacturin' puttin' all the by-products and stuff into the nearby rivers and into the air from their smokestacks. And the logging industry cuttin' down all them trees to make paper bags that you can use to stick the millions of pounds of paper junk mail you still get into for the recyclin' guy on Monday morning, and all the pollutin' they release makin' the bags and drivin' the logs around, and stuff like that.
So it seems to make sense to use them re-usable bags, right? It's the "new" American way. You keep 'em forever, and just got to remember to bring them in from the car when you go shopping. Oh, and you got to remember to put them back in the car when you're done unloadin' your groceries at home. And you gotta stop usin' 'em for stuff at home, so's you can't put 'em back in the car. Of course, when you do forget all that, all you gotta do is just grab a couple bags off the rack in the aisle, tear off the tags, and bring 'em up to the register like you own 'em and brought 'em in with you, you know? 'Course, you didn't hear that from me.
Now, there's just one problem. Them bags (from a company called "earthwise bag company, inc." - sounds real good, don't it?) is made in China of 100% non woven polypropylene. Here's what Wikipedia, the source of all truth and knowledge on the internets has to say about it:
Polypropylene or polypropene (PP) is a thermoplastic polymer, made by the chemical industry and used in a wide variety of applications, including packaging, textiles (e.g., ropes, thermal underwear and carpets), stationery, plastic parts and reusable containers of various types, laboratory equipment, loudspeakers, automotive components, and polymer banknotes. An addition polymer made from the monomer propylene, it is rugged and unusually resistant to many chemical solvents, bases and acids. Its resin identification code is the number 5 surrounded by a recycling symbol, with the letters "P P" below. Melt processing of polypropylene can be achieved via extrusion and molding.
Oh, and its molecular formula is: (C3H6)x. Does THAT sound earthwise to you? Sounds like a movie George Lucas wishes he had made.
Anyway, that ain't what I wanted to talk to you about anyway. It's about those plastic bottles everywhere. Can you believe you actually BUY water to drink because it's supposed to be healthy for you, and you drink it out of a plastic bottle (how long has it been sittin' in there in some dark warehouse in Waukegan?????), take it home in a paper bag no doubt, and then you probably just toss it in the garbage so it goes into the landfill where there used to be trees? Or maybe one of those polyextruded "green" bags. (green die #3) (and yes, pun intended)
This is the thing: There is a little code that the bottling industry is required to put on the bottle that defines what kind of plastic it is. There are seven codes in the plastics industry. Read about them here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resin_identification_code. The thing is, the bottling industry knows that recycling plastic is a bad thing, but it had to pay a lot of money to a lot of senators and congresspersons to ease up on the requirements of letting us know about recycling. The bottlers said "look, we don't need everyone sending our old plastic bottles back to us, because it's more profitable to make new ones, and not have to deal with old used ones, and if we have to deal with old used ones, that will raise the price of new ones, and cut into our profit margins, and that means we'll have less money to donate to your campaign next year!" So the government said "okay, just put some little thingie on there somewhere so's we can say it's there and we did our job (by the people for the people), and then pass me the envelope. No, no, no - under the table, you idiot!! "
So, on the bottom of the plastic bottle, in a tiny little triangle the same color as the plastic bottle, is a number in the same color that indicates which of the seven plastic types the bottle (or other plastic packaging, just to be clear here) belongs to. And it's just oh so slightly embossed. And in my advanced age, I can't read it, even with two pair of my reading glasses on. What with it being embossed like it is, the best bet I can think of is to get a blind person to read it for me. And as hard as that would be for me (I don't really know any blind people), I can only assume that in fact I'm not supposed to be able to read it, because in fact recycling is bad for the planet. Otherwise, the bottling industry would have put it on the label, in brightly colored large-type font just like "Lemon flavored" (not that it has lemon in it, mind you, just some polyextruded flavoring added). Then you'd know it was a good thing to recycle.
So, just go to the store, buy your plastic bottle of water, bring it home in an extruded polymer bag, and when you're finished with it, do what everyone else does: throw it out the window of your H3 as you run me off the road. And don't worry. I've snapped your license plate, and will be posting a picture of it shortly.