Susan Epstein

What Do Dirty Dishes and Parenting Have in Common?

Anonymous — Tue, 29 Apr 2008 23:10:34 GMT

Gunilla Norris, said

“My life will always have dirty dishes.

If this sink can become a place of

contemplation,

let me learn constancy here.”

When I read this quote, I thought,

wow! This woman really gets it.

I’ve been talking about robotic

parenting, meditative parenting,

calm parenting; in other words

not getting caught in the “ick” of

being a parent.

If you’ve been following along,

You know from that special report

you got when you subscribed that

success in parenting really comes

from staying in control and staying

present.

Here it is again, if you have lost it

in your computer.

http://www.parentingpowers.com/parenting-giveaway.htm

So back to the dishes; if we fight

the dishes, we feel resentful and

angry and bored. And if we fight

the kids we also feel resentful

and angry.

But if we used the time doing the

dishes to be at peace and think

it could be the best break we had

all day. It might even restore and

relax you to be a calmer parent.

So this week as you perform the

mundane, the chores you “hate

and despise” take the time to

breathe and check in with your-

self about the power struggles

you have with your kids. Then

make the next interaction you

have with your child, “clear,

concise and calm” no matter

what your child gives back. Make

the moment a teachable one,

whether you are reinforcing

respectful behavior or motivating

your child to get something done.

For more ideas on how you

can get in touch with your

parenting powers…

check out my book-

www.parentingpowers.com/takebacksystem.htm

and my new DVD set-

www.parentingpowers.com/areyoutiredofnaggingdvd.htm

Best wishes for a peaceful home,

Your parent coach,

Susan

Dear Parent, Have you ever felt like running away from home?

Anonymous — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 20:00:55 GMT

Today I received email from a distraught
mom, who wrote,

"Dear Susan,

My 9 year old daughter is a spoiled
brat. She talks back, interrupts constantly,
begs, whines and throws tantrums whenever
I correct her behavior or say "no".

I am at my wit's end and ready to run away
from home. You ask parents, "who's running
your house?" My answer is, "Not me!" I feel
like the child and she calls all the shots. How
do I turn this around?"

-M.B Alabama

It was clear to me that she missed the free
parenting tele-seminar I gave on Monday
night. If she had been on the call she would
have been able to immediately begin to turn
the tables with her daughter.

I thought about what I could tell her that
would help her right away. She was really
upset. And then I remembered that I
had recorded the seminar call.

So...

I wrote back to her, "please don't run
away from home. There is help and hope.
All you have to do is listen to this recording
and you will be on your way to being
the one in charge."

And I gave her a link to the recording.

And then, I had another thought, why
not share it with as many parents as
I can?

Can you imagine how many frustrated parents
could use some specific advice about how to
regain control over their kids?

So...

I am giving the recording to you today
at no cost. Yes, free.

One favor please.

In the spirit of sharing, would you
please share this message with
other parents who might like to get
better control of their kids?

I'd like to get this recording into as
many hands as possible and
word of mouth is extremely powerful.

Let me know how many parents you forwarded
this to by Friday, April 25th.

The person that has forwarded it to
the most people will win a copy
of my book "Taking Back Your Parenting
Power System"-
Premium Version ....

Check it out here:
www.parentingpowers.com/takebacksystem.htm

And...
My new DVD set "Are you Tired of Nagging?"

Check this out here...
www.parentingpowers.com/areyoutiredofnaggingdvd.htm

Here is the recording of Monday April 21, 2008
Parenting Tele-Seminar:

Click here to listen or download:
http://www.parentingpowers.com/teleseminarrecordingapril.html

You're sure to get some great ideas
from the call. Thanks for sharing
it with others!

Wishing you a peaceful home,
Your Parent Coach,

-Susan
860-437-0233

How to Outsource Your Laundry for Free

Anonymous — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 12:34:25 GMT

Is your family's laundry an
albatross around your neck?
When and if you venture into
your kids' rooms, do you see
a sea of clothing, wet moldy
towels, science experiments
growing on and around your
beautiful set of kitchen dishes?
Is it so horrifying that you would
rather watch a the latest Stephen
King film, than open that door?

And to top it off, do you have to
beg, threaten and coerce to get
your kids to hand over their
dirty clothing so that YOU can
wash it? Once you give it back,
neatly folded, stacked and "clean",
does it join the ranks of crumpled,
and moldy before your child has
put it on?

Did you know that you can solve
this problem by outsourcing?And
it won't cost you a penny!

Back to the laundry, here's how to
do it.

=> Purchase two laundry baskets for each child:
one white and one other color and place inside
their rooms.

=> Write out easy to understand instructions for
your laundry machine and dryer and tape them
to the front of your machines.

=> Have a field trip with your kids (11 and older) to
the laundry room.

=> Explain to your kids that they will
be in charge of their own laundry from now on.
including their towels and sheets.

=> Give a laundry lesson and tell your kids that
as they undress, the whites go in the white basket
and everything else into the other basket.

=> Assign your kids 1 or 2 days each week that
they will 'get to' use the machines.

=> Inform them that if they don't transfer their
clothing from one machine to the other or
remove their clothing from the dryer that
they risk having it dumped on the floor
by the next person in line to wash clothes.

=> Do not bail your child out. Let them forget,
let them find their clothing on the floor, wet
and smelly.

You are teaching independence, accountability,
respect and consideration for others. You are
also teaching that all the household chores should
not fall on one person (YOU). You are giving your
children a gift for life. And at the same time,
You get to stop nagging and you get free time
and it didn't cost you a penny!

If you found this tip helpful, forward it to a friend
and encourage your friend to visit...
www.parentingpowers.com, to sign up to get future
parenting tips.

Best wishes for a peaceful home,
Your Parent Coach,
Susan

Tools for Parents and Children

Anonymous — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 22:11:08 GMT

It's not only children who grow. Parents do too.
As much as we watch to see what our children do
with their lives, they are watching us to see what
we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach
for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself.
~Joyce Maynard

I spent yesterday and this morning reviewing
the seminar "Are you Tired of Nagging?" My
camera man Dave, dropped off the DVD's
last night for me to review. So when I saw
this quote a little while ago, I had to say,
"aha!" That is so well said. I am going to
summarize some of the main points that I
made at that seminar on March 8, 2008.

But before I do, I want to share a few exciting
developments with you. If you haven't heard:

=> I will be giving 2 ½ day Parenting Transformation
Retreat, June 6-8. It will be held in New London,
CT, USA at a beautiful Bed and Breakfast.
Here is the link...see a picture of Kirkland House
And see what we'll be doing on and near the
Beach!
http://www.parentingpowers.com/parentretreatjune.htm

=>I will be releasing the Are you Tired Of Nagging? DVD
set, sometime in the next two weeks. I will be offering
this at a special low introductory price to the first 50
parents that purchase it. After that the price goes up.

So if you couldn't be there or if you were there and want
to review the day...look for an email in the next two weeks
that tells you how to get the DVD Set at the introductory
rate.

Oh, yeah, remember that tele-recording I did last month?
The one on how to get respectful children?

You can still order an mp3 of that-
Here is the link:
www.parentingpowers/marchrecording.html

Now back to Nagging. I was telling you how
I was reviewing the DVDs and I noticed how
true it was that we have to be role models for
our kids.

=>If you want organized kids...you must also organize
yourself.

=>If you don't want your kids to watch a lot of TV...
then don't do it either.

=>If you don't want your kids to eat junk food...
You get the picture!

=>Even more than that...your mood is so important.
Want respectful, cooperative kids that are calm
and well mannered? Then, continue asking your
kids to do things in a calm, well mannered way.

=>Give your kids the tools they need, to cut down
on frustration.

=>Give them systems that work to organize and
put things away.

=>Keep asking your kids what
they need from you to do and feel better about
themselves.

I am creating a whole box of parenting tools
Just for you.
Today you can choose from my Parenting
Manual:
www.parentingpowers.com/takebacksystem.htm

Tele-seminar Recording:
www.parentingpowers.com/marchrecording.html

Parent Transformation Retreat:
http://www.parentingpowers.com/parentretreatjune.htm

and in two weeks you'll be able to get the DVD set
(4.5 hours of content)
Are You Tired of Nagging? How to get your kids to
Cooperate today.

Wishing you a peaceful home.
Your Parent Coach,

Susan
860-437-0233

Mom, Dad, Watch Out for Your Toes...

Anonymous — Sun, 16 Mar 2008 20:26:14 GMT

Today, I came across the following

quote from a Chinese Proverb.

“Parents who are afraid to put their

foot down often have children who

step on their toes.”

After spending a full day Saturday,

March 8, 2008 at my “Are You Tired

of Nagging?”Parenting Seminar (CT College)

with 30 amazing moms, dads and educators,

I am convinced that everyone would

agree that the above quote is true for them.

Wanting your kids to like you is

admirable, however, if it gets in the

way of teaching your kids respect,

responsibility and accountability,

you may be on your way towards

really getting stepped on.

Saying “no” when you have to,

choose to or just plain want to,

is your choice as a parent. You

don’t owe your child an explanation.

You may find when you do go

there and provide a “reason”

for your decision, you end up

in a tug of war power struggle that

often leads to “I hate yous” and

slamming doors.

Simply saying, “No.” is fine. And

if your child persists, repeat, “no”.

If your child persists again,

tell him that arguing with you

is inappropriate and rude. Final,

end of story.

“But, Susan”, you say. “How will

my child learn and understand if

I don’t explain?”

We both know that you have already

explained multiple times before

you have read this email. So let’s

just go with…you have a smart

kid, and s/he knows exactly “why?”

you are refusing. When your child

asks “why?” it is the child’s way

of getting you to doubt yourself,

wear you down, convince you that

you have made a mistake…

If you don’t want to say “no” right

away, then don’t. Instead, say, “I’ll

get back to you by dinner”, or “I’ll let

you know in a half an hour.”

When you tell your child your decision,

be clear in your own head, why you are

saying “no” ( if that is the case). Remember

to remain robotic and calm, repeat if you

need to and protect your toes.